another one is over... well, almost

The fall semester is officially over but not for me. I had struggled this past semester, and I struggled  bad. But I was honest and upfront with my teachers and got lucky enough to get some pretty nice extensions. The final assignment I have is due January 6th. What that means however is I get an incomplete for a grade so I can have time to finish the work. Needless to say, I hope to have it done and done right before then. It's a revision to my unit plan since it wasn't that great. So, off I go, I take an easy day today and tomorrow I'm still in the books. I know I say over and over how important school is. But it does start to drag after awhile and it does seem never ending at times. The important part is no matter how burned out you feel you are from it, just keep pushing, you'll get through it. Before you know it, you'll be on break and then you get to rest. And rest you must. It is very extremely important you don't lose yourself. Take time for yourself; to rest, to heal, to just have fun. It helps so much in the short run and the long run. Happy New Year everyone and good luck!

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Just a quick little note to remind to wish you all a wonderful, joyous Turkey Day!! Be thankful for all you achieved, for all the wonderful things in your life, for your supporters and also your non-supporters, proving them wrong is motivation as well. Take motivation from all sources, work your way to your goals, no matter what they might be.
Today I am thankful for my loving family and my amazing friends and my baby bear, William and my wonderful boyfriend, Steve. Without all of you, I probably wouldn't be where I am now. Happy Thanksgiving!

Also, if you're not already a fan, come like me on my Facebook page! I post links to articles that are of interest to education as well as motivation and inspirational quotes everyday!
http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/From-Statistic-to-Anomaly/139657529470172

Some statistics for you

So, to really bring home the facts, some food for thought for you:

• There are 14 million single parents in the US today
• 83.1% of those are mothers, the last 16.9% are fathers

Of those:

• 79.5% of the mothers are employed
• 27% of the mothers live in poverty
• 22% receive medcaid
• 23.5% receive food stamps
• 12% receive some form of housing assitance
• 5% receive TANF

To put it more in perspective, two parent house holds held only 6.7% of the population in poverty.

I'm still looking for more statistics on this, so is just a small portion. I did focus on the mothers more because I am one. But don't think I'll just disregard the fathers. Being a single parent, mom or dad, it's hard. It's you and your kid(s) against the world, with no one by your side to assist. But we do what we have to so we can survive and raise our kids rights. My therapist told me today that I should be commended: I work, I go to school, I raise William and I have a boyfriend. She said I could take the easy route and quit school, she said this is always an option but it's great that I'm not allowing myself that option. To me, that is never an option. In William's karate class his teacher tells them, "Winners NEVER quit, and quitters NEVER win." These are wise words to live by.

Sources:

Dorning, J. (2010, April). PROFESSIONAL WOMEN: VITAL STATISTICS. In pay-equity.org. Retrieved November 16, 2011, from http://www.pay-equity.org/PDFs/ProfWomen.pdf

Single Parent Statistics- What do they tell us? (2011, August 3). In Single Parent Center. Retrieved November 16, 2011, from http://www.singleparentcenter.net/single-parent-statistics.html

Wolf, J. (n.d.). Single Parent Statistics. In About.com Single Parents. Retrieved November 16, 2011, from http://singleparents.about.com/od/legalissues/p/portrait.htm

First time for everything

So I dropped a class for the first time ever. I'm almost ashamed to admit it. It feels much like quitting. But there is a lesson here. Sometimes, even if it feels like giving up, you need to drop something to make things easier or better. If your grades are suffering then it is time to re-evaluate if it is worth continuing the way you are. I hated dropping that class but it had to be done. Now I can improve my grades in the classes I do need to graduate.

time to be honest

I've tried to stay cheerful and positive in this blog. I want you to feel that with enough determination, you can get yourself somewhere great too, you can better your life. But let's be honest for a moment: it is NOT easy, it is not as positive as I make it out to be. You have to work hard and sometimes, like I am right now, you will feel stuck. This is when you have to look at your life and see what you can change. There always has to be someway to improve it, even if it is not as obvious right away as you think.

Today, I had a conversation with a friend, I needed to vent and she gave me a lot of encouragement. She pointed out that many in my situation, as a single mother, can't say they've done half the things I have done. She told me an example of one of her employees who isn't even trying. My friend called me a saint. I laughed and told her that maybe I am handling my life better than most, but I'm not a saint and right now, I've hit my limit and something has to give.

So here is where I am: I'm constantly crying, stressed to the max, I'm having issues just taking care of my own basic needs. I put emphasis on the fact I said my own: my son's needs are being met. His karate classes are paid in full up till March, we had a wonderful night out at his school's family bowling night, we're ready for Halloween, he is healthy and has a full tummy, he has clean clothes that fit and new sneakers that he is learning to tie laces on (well, he knows how, just needs to practice a bit more), he does his homework on time and is a very happy child. yes, he still needs a counselor for his other issues that I mentioned previously, and as soon as MassHealth stops dicking us around, he will be going to see one. But as for me, I can barely function. I'm constantly stuck without a sitter, my mountain of homework reaches higher than Mt. Everest, my son's tempers are not helping (though I don't blame him for anything, I just hope counseling helps him), I want to scream and I can't, I feel like I'm losing my mind. So I know something needs to give because I can't continue this way. Yes, to whatever person is reading this, I'm giving you my honest to heart feelings, just laying it out for you. 

Making a decision to better your life is not easy, there is no short cut, there is no quick fix, you have to work for it. You will hit bumps in the road and want to quit. Stay focused on your goals, keep pushing through, re-evaluate the situation and think of ways to improve it. Cry. Scream. Throw a fit. Go for a run. Whatever you have to do to get yourself through it without causing yourself or anyone else physical harm. Don't turn to drugs and alcohol to make it easier, in the end, they'll make it harder. Remember none of it is easy, but it is possible. You deserve to have a great life, now get it.

Not always sugar and sweet

I guess I make things sound pretty simple sometimes. I work, go to school, raise my son, spend time with my boyfriend, normal household chores (which thankfully, this isn't my house so I don't have to do everything, but I do have to do somethings) and still some how manage time with friends. This is easy right? Not! There are still sicknesses that pop up (my poor baby), disagreements with friends when I get so aggitated from it all and then say the wrong thing, schedule issues, lack of baby sitters, lack of any free time to just do nothing. Right now, we're dealing with issues with my son. He's been badly acting out just about every day. This is the first morning since school started that we didn't have a problem. And I think that was only because we over slept so he didn't have time to think about a tantrum since I was rushing him to get ready to so much. I plan on calling the school today though and speak to the guidance counselour to see if William can take some time to talk to her. I get the feeling that William is angry and frustrated with something, but as he is not telling us what it is, we don't really know what to do. I'm hoping that talking to someone else that is not his dad, my boyfriend or me might help. But anyway, I have to rush off to school now. Hope you all have a blessed day!

ACCEPTED!!

So, I just got the e-mail today about my student teaching application. Please recall in my previous post I mentioned my kind of low GPA for the program. Well, because of that, I was only conditionally accepted pending I get my GPA up after this semester. Which, by the way, I plan on doing just that! This is exciting to me! It means the end truly is in site, I can see it, I can almost touch it, all this BS is almost done. While, I don't actually consider school to be a bunch of BS it is stressful, it is hard work, it's not easy and you have to really want that degree and that career to be able to make it through it. And damnit, I want that degree! I want my career! Anyway, I spent enough time on the computer. Much love to you all! Now, I'm off to school to get my kick ass grades!

Student teaching

Now it is time to apply for student teaching. The end is very close. My life is slowly getting better. I'm I'm therapy now and getting a neuropsychlogical test done. I'm getting better resources to handle my life and to balance it. But naturally, it's not easy. You need a GPA of 2.8 to get into student teaching. I currently have a 2.7. I know I can get it up by next semester, but will Bridge water let me start then? Or will graduation be put off even longer? I will be emailing tonight. Hope to have an answer by tomorrow. I can only hope at this point.

We all need a break

Summer classes are over and fall is about to begin. I'm taking a much needed break and vacationing in sunny Florida. Visiting my boyfriend's dad today, Disney yesterday and tomorrow, Universal Thursday and a visiting some family I haven't seen since I was very young. I'll be going home Monday. This is a note to remind you all that as much work as you need to do, it is necessary to kick back and relax once in awhile. Your body, brain and your emotional well being need to recharge once in awhile in order to do what is needed and to achieve your goals.

Just an update

So, passes the English MTEL and now in summer courses. I got a B- during session 1. Now in session 2 where I'm taking young adults lit and writing and content area. Summer courses are so fast passed but I'm managing. All for now, it's my birthday and it's time to relax a bit.

And the scores are in...... I PASSED THE MTEL!!!!

just another day

So, I've had one of those weeks where I just can't wait to finish school and not be so poor anymore. UPS apparently lost all the paychecks for our store so a bunch of us never got paid. I had to depend on my boyfriend to pay my car insurance so my sister and I don't lose our cars (I legally own and insure both). I was supposed to be paid Friday, our checks were supposed to be in Thursday. Here it is late Monday night and I still haven't been paid. Does this show how crappy it can be being a student and raising a child? No, not totally, there are rewards but this is one small example of how tough it can be. Have I given up hope? Definitely not. I did cry a bit because obviously it was really stressful. I hate asking my boyfriend for help unless I absolutely need it. So now what happens? I wait for my paycheck which I pretty much need to sign the entire thing over to him and figure out some kind of miracle to pay the rest of my bills. Joy! Yeah, just another day.

End of Semester

Alright, the spring semester is done. I'm so happy to put this one behind me. I'm not sure why but it was so tough, I was spending one to two nights a week not sleeping just to get my homework done in time. It was crazy. I'm still recovering from this last one. I think it was such a heavy work load. Anyway, now I get a two week break before starting summer classes. Luckily, the first session is just one class. I'm so excited for it too! It's my assessment and planning class. I've been looking forward to this one, I know it'll help me a lot to advance my career. I'm working on getting my observation hours done before class starts. I already contacted the head of the English department at the Barnstable High School where I did observation hours previously.
On a side note, since this is my second post and I did promise to post my story, here's a little more background on me. I'm 25 years old, I have a 6 year old son. I was 19 when he was born and had just finished my first semester of college. Being pregnant did not make that semester easy, I was one of those oh so lucky women to suffer from morning, afternoon and night sickness, so I missed a lot of class time. I took one semester off and then went back head on. That following December, after completing my second semester of school, things went south for my son's dad and me. There was just too many problems and issues between us that by the time either of us could admit there was something wrong, it was unrepairable and we made the hard decision to split up. Since then, I was engaged to two guys (can't even call them men) who were not good for me or my son, both verbally abusive in their own rights (one was very controlling and one always seemed to have a problem with my son and me). I went through several homes, starting in a hotel room when my son was born to where I live now with my current boyfriend. I graduated Massasoit Community College last year (finished classes the year before) and just finished my second year at Bridgewater State University. I had a rough start to things, but I can honestly and truly say that as rough as things are, I am happy. My boyfriend is amazing, he does anything and everything he can to take care of William (my son) and me. He never makes me feel guilty for it, it's never a problem. My son has even called him daddy on several occassions. (Oh, and speaking of daddys, my son's father is still in his life, we found we get a long better as friends.) For the first time in my life, I don't consider myself homeless nor do I consider myself a single mother. I'm one year away from graduating and I take the second part of the MTEL this Saturday. If I pass, I'm a licensed teacher, just can't actually start full time till I graduate. I don't hope to change the world with my story but I do hope to help at least one person who is in a similiar position to me to realize they are not alone and that with enough determination, it can be done. No one can take your dreams from you and they can only be achieved if you work for them.

Welcome!

So, obviously this is my new blogspot. I decided I wanted to start a blog after tiring from hearing people telling me day in and day out how impressive it is that I'm going to school, working and raising an amazing little boy. Is it really that amazing what I do? It sure isn't easy, but amazing? Impressive? I'm not so sure, but I do realize there are people who right now are where I started. I want those people to know that they don't need to be a statistic of what lower class is like, of what being poor is like, that there are resources and that it is possible to change where you are right now and go someplace where you always wanted to be. Life happens and we all make a decision somewhere that brought us here. Now I feel is the time to make another decision and break out of the mold and show the world what you are made of. I'm starting this towards the end of my college career, but soon into the future, I will share stories about where I started, the struggles I went through. My struggles aren't typical; in fact, I'm not sure I get to being where the worst you can get is. I do know for a fact that I sunk to my lowest low and I'm climbing a long ladder to be free of it. So take my story as you will, inspirational, amazing or a joke, and see where it can take you and what it can teach you. I will leave you readers on a note of inspiration that was taught to me: never believe you deserve less than the best. Believe in yourself and you can achieve anything. Cliché, I know, but true.